First let me say that I am funny. No. Really. I am. I am funny. Ok, well, maybe not funny funny, but funny in that dark, dry, omg did he/she really say that kind of way. But, sadly, I am not — I repeat NOT — Tina Fey funny. And perhaps no one is. Which, of course, is what makes Tina Fey so…well…funny. And so, without further ado, here are 5 Reasons to love Tina Fey. Which you can later prove by running out and buying your edition of Bossypants. And reading it. Preferably alone, so no one will see you snort milk through your nose or change your Depends.
1. Tina Fey knows you can not “have it all” and has accepted it.
“There was no prolonged stretch of time in sight when it would just be the baby and me. And then I sobbed in my office for ten minutes. The same ten minutes that magazines urge me to use for sit-ups and triceps dips, I used for sobbing. Of course I’m not supposed to admit that there is a tri-annual torrential sobbing in my office, because it’s bad for the feminist cause. It makes it harder for women to be taken seriously in the workplace. It makes it harder for other working moms to justify their choice. But I have friends who stay home with their kids and they also have a tri-annual sob, so I think we should call it even. I think we should be kind to one another about it. I think we should agree to blame the children.”
2. Tina Fey knows where she stands.
“My only other request was this: I never wanted to appear in a “two shot” with Mrs. Palin. I mean, she really is taller and better looking than I am, and we would literally be wearing the same outfit. I’d already been made to stand next to Jennifer Aniston and Salma Hayek on camera in my life; a gal can only take so much. And honestly, I knew that if that picture existed, it would be what they show on the Emmys someday when I die…”
3. Tina Fey has perspective.
“If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty.
‘Who cares?’ “
4. Tina Fey knows how to get what she wants. And works for it.
“If I was really ambitious, I would get a Whopper Jr. at Burger King and then walk to McDonald’s to get the fries. The shake could be from anywhere.”
5. Tina Fey had a worse, and funnier, childhood than you.
I shoved the box in my closet, where it haunted me daily. There might as well have been a guy dressed like Freddy Krueger in there for the amount of anxiety it gave me. Every time I reached in the closet to grab a Sunday school dress or my colonial-lady Halloween costume that I sometimes relaxed in after school — ‘Modessssss,’ it hissed at me. ‘Modessssssis coming for you.’ “
Obviously I could go on and on. But I won’t. Thankfully, Tina Fey does. Read Bossypants. That is an order.